Some biblically informed reflections on the tragic suicide of Cheslie Kryst D.E.Sukhia 2.7.22
Cheslie Kryst won the Miss USA beauty pageant in 2019. She ran track at USC where she graduated cum laude. She then earned a law degree and an MBA from Wake Forest at the same time. She practiced law in NC and SC. She was a correspondent for Extra TV and nominated for Emmys for her work. But in spite of all her beauty and success she jumped to her death from the 29th floor of her luxury apartment in NY on January 30,2022.
When a young, beautiful, talented, and successful person chooses to end her life it causes us to ask why. Of course only God knows for sure what was in her mind that day she jumped. But she wrote an article that appeared in the March 4, 2021 issue of allure magazine [ a women’s magazine that that focuses on beauty] that sheds some light on her thinking.
Here is her article with my reflections bracketed and italicized. I also reproduced in bold the words in her essay that prompted my comments.
My point here is that the Christian world view, the gospel of Christ, provides the best hope for dealing with all the psychological pressures that confront us in this fallen world. There are two and a half times as many suicides as homicides in this country [47,511 in 2019 according to the CDC ]. In my opinion the best thing that we can do for the souls around us is point them to Christ and His work for sinners. That includes everyone, from “under achievers” to the most successful.
A Pageant Queen Reflects on Turning 30 [allure 3.4.21]
At 28, Cheslie Kryst made history as the oldest Miss USA champion in the pageant's 68-year history, giving her a unique perspective on the (often damaging) link between youth and accomplishment. In this essay, the attorney and Emmy Award-nominated television correspondent reflects on her journey to overcoming the relentless pressure to achieve — and how she found fulfillment and purpose in herself.
[The last line of this introduction was hopeful but apparently mistaken. She did not find fulfillment and purpose in herself since she committed suicide 11 months later.]
Each time I say, “I’m turning 30,” I cringe a little. Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable response with excitement; other times, my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting. Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women. (Occasional exceptions are made for some of the rich and a few of the famous.) When I was crowned Miss USA 2019 at 28 years old, I was the oldest woman in history to win the title, a designation even the sparkling $200,000 pearl-and-diamond Mikimoto crown could barely brighten for some diehard pageant fans who immediately began to petition for the age limit to be lowered.
A grinning, crinkly-eyed glance at my achievements thus far makes me giddy about laying the groundwork for more, but turning 30 feels like a cold reminder that I’m running out of time to matter in society’s eyes — and it’s infuriating.
After a year like 2020, you would think we’d learned that growing old is a treasure and maturity is a gift not everyone gets to enjoy. Far too many of us allow ourselves to be measured by a standard that some sternly refuse to challenge and others simply acquiesce to because fitting in and going with the flow is easier than rowing against the current. I fought this fight before and it’s the battle I’m currently fighting with 30.
[ She seems to be preoccupied with physical beauty to the exclusion of focus on the inner beauty of godliness. Prov 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 1 Peter 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ]
How do I shake society’s unwavering norms when I’m facing the relentless tick of time?
[ She seems overly concerned about what others think of her. This can easily lead to a kind of enslavement to them. Prov. 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. When our focus is on God’s glory not our own we are equipped to handle the adverse treatment of others. Matt 5:11 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. ]
It’s the age-old question: What happens when “immovable” meets “unstoppable”?
To be fair, I didn’t spring from the womb, sword in hand, to fight the good fight and I am certainly not exempting myself from belonging to the go-with-the-flow crowd on occasion. I remember being enamored by “20 under 20” and “30 under 30” lists that tied achievement to youth and called it success — lists that are surely intended to recognize the rarity of accomplishing outstanding feats at a young age. But they had an unfortunate side effect on some young people, who felt encouraged to hoard accomplishments as fast as possible in order to measure up to our peers.
When I graduated from college and opted to continue my studies at Wake Forest University, I decided I’d earn a law degree and an MBA at the same time. (Why stop at two degrees when you can have three?) I joined a trial team at school and won a national championship. I competed in moot court; won essay competitions; and earned local, regional, and national executive board positions. I nearly worked myself to death, literally, until an eight-day stint in a local hospital sparked the development of a new perspective.
[ She seems to be in an exhausting pursuit of internal peace and “self worth” by means of achievement. But our self worth and identity should come from our being a child of God through our relationship with Christ. Phil 3:7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him...]
I discovered that the world’s most important question, especially when asked repeatedly and answered frankly, is: why? Why earn more achievements just to collect another win? Why pursue another plaque or medal or line item on my résumé if it’s for vanity’s sake, rather than out of passion? Why work so hard to capture the dreams I’ve been taught by society to want when I continue to find only emptiness?
[ All earthly success is empty if not done for the glory of God. Eccl 2:11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.]
Too often, I noticed that the only people impressed by an accomplishment were those who wanted it for themselves. Meanwhile, I was rewarded with a lonely craving for the next award. Some would see this hunger and label it “competitiveness”; others might call it the unquenchable thirst of insecurity.
[There is no lasting satisfaction in this life outside of Christ. Matt 16:25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? But being in Christ, by His grace we can be content. Phil 4:11 I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ]
Pageant girls are supposed to be model-tall and slender, don bouffant hair, and have a killer walk. But my five-foot-six frame won with six-pack abs, earned after years of competing in Division I Track and Field, and a head of natural curls in a time when generations of Black women have been taught that being “too Black” would cost them wins in the boardroom and on pageant stages. My challenge of the status quo certainly caught the attention of the trolls, and I can’t tell you how many times I have deleted comments on my social media pages that had vomit emojis and insults telling me I wasn’t pretty enough to be Miss USA or that my muscular build was actually a “man body.”
[ Our talents, opportunities, health etc. are all gifts from God that we should be good stewards of for His glory. As long as we are faithfully seeking to please God as resposible stewards, we can handle the negative criticism of others. We know that God is our judge and pleasing Him is the goal of life; so the opinions of others is of minor importance. 1 Cor 4:2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. 3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself...It is the Lord who judges me.]
And that was just my looks. My opinions, on the other hand, were enough to make a traditional pageant fan clutch their pearls.
Women who compete in pageants are supposed to have a middle-of-the-road opinion — if any — so as not to offend. I talked candidly about my views on the legalization of marijuana, the Trump administration’s immigration policies, anti-abortion laws, the confirmation of Justice Amy Coney Barrett, and the successes and failures of criminal justice reform. I openly supported the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement and marched in protests over the summer. I wasn’t searching to collect more awards or recognition during my reign. Rather, I fed the passion that made waking up each morning feel worthwhile: speaking out against injustice.
[ All people need a worthy cause to live for that reaches beyond themselves. The gospel and the kingdom of God should be that cause. Matt 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness... This alone has the eternal, transcendent quality that creatures made for eternity long for. “Social justice” is unattainable in a fallen world. But the gospel brings eternal life and the personal transformation that has eternal consequences. Rom 1:16 I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes... 2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ]
My 29th birthday felt very emblematic of the season I’m looking forward to entering. In a time when extravagant birthday bashes are the gold standard of celebrations, I was happily stuck in my apartment, parading around in a black silk top, matching shorts, and a floor-length robe while scarfing down banana pudding and screening birthday calls. I even wore my crown around the apartment for most of the day knowing I’d have to give it back at the end of my reign as Miss USA. I did what I wanted rather than the expected.
Now, I enter year 30 searching for joy and purpose on my own terms — and that feels like my own sweet victory.
Sadly, this dear soul never found that joy and purpose. This essay just gives us a glimpse into the internal struggles of Cheslie. There are people all around us that like her are trying to cope with life without the water of life that is Christ. We should never assume that people who seem “all together” are not hurting and empty deep down. We who know Christ and have joy in Him must be vigilant to get the gospel out. Christ alone is the soul’s eternal rest.
Matt 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."